Sharing Amusing Session Stuff

[Elfie]

Quotes from our most recent session, which my wife subsequently tweeted:

"No, Virginia Tech Massacre was funnier"
"But these are nice Nazis. Big-breasted, super hot Nazis."
"It's like a double-sided Trail of Tears, but with cannibals."
"Little Miss Breastmilk"

[Elfie]

Also, (because you care) here's everyone holding up their character folders that we made today cause we're totally awesome.

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/282640_3935877869617_1518668115_n.jpg

[Knightwolf64]

I don't get the post , the lines are funny yes, but do you want other people to post theirs as well?

[Etarnon]

Stealing your folder idea. I usually use Elmore's character art kit for PC, but haven't done the report folder thing.

Thanks.

[si1vergecko]

Well this is somewhat funny to me at least.

Well there was one time where my party was in the deep roads and at one point we basically caught in a 3 way battle between us, some cultist and the Darkspawn. Near the tail end of the fight a cave in got triggered and needless to say the party starts gunning for the exit. Unfortunately though all of the movement the darkspawn moved around in a way where my mage got blocked off from the door and at the end of the round the cave in would commence. Everyone started to say stuff along the lines of, "Well your screwed." I simply smiled and muttered, "Shape Earth" (a spell which I can't wrap my head around the fact that it is Creation magic and not Primal) and tossed the dice rolling a success and my mage simply sank into the ground. Apparently since I was late for the next session apparently it started off with everyone thinking I was dead and saying how they need a new healer when suddenly a hole opened in the stone wall of the roads and my mage just walked out casually.

[Scott McFarland]

One of my players successfully bred an Orlesian poodle with a Mabari.

They now have 6 Maboodles.

[Etarnon]

We introduced two new PCs to the group, so we had them as a warrior ferelden woman fighting a city elf rogue in a tavern in Denerim. Round one, move one, she gets initiative, rolls triple six with a punch. Devastating damage, she breaks his nose, he goes flying across the bar, accidentally kicks the female human barmaid in the face, finishes up by going airborne, smashing the very expensive mirror there.

It wound up turning into a wild west style bar brawl, for about 1/3 of the session, with the face kicker flirting with the fenale human barmaid to soften her resolve to get repaid. she counters with her own flriting, he falls for it, and within a short while, her father wanting the elf lad to prove himself worthy, hiring the party to go to the woods to the southeast past Dragon's peak to scout for a special wood for the teryn.

It was very awkward to try and roleplay out me as the female PC flirting with the other player, both male, so we sort of said "she bats her eyelashes", "uh huh, I failed my will roll." I'm a 6'4" 260 lb Navy vet. The only actual woman we had as a player was greatly amused at all this, she was the nose smashing warrior, that started it all.

But I figure there''s some story there.

Just awkward to play female NPCs for me. But the story went that way.

[si1vergecko]

Don't know why but reading though this reminding me of one point where our party was at port in Denerim set around the early sections of Origins and we were preparing to set sail on a boat when about 8 of Logain's men in full plate showed up demanding to search the vessel. Needless to say this caused a flurry of actions from the players not wantng to fight these guys to prep the ship to sail immediately from a fighter weighing anchor, rouges tieing knots, even a mage firing an arcane lance to cut ropes to drop the sails. One of the newer players at the time who played a character that was a foreigner basically asked who the heck they were and demanded to see identification. The troops were caught off guard by this question to the point where they were stunned and froze in place for a moment. One of the warriors then capitalized on this and kicked the gang plank leading from the dock to the ship which had the soldiers on it dropping them into the harbor bypassing the battle and we made off with our escape.

[Aolbain]

Just finished first adventure, the dalish curse. The whole group, including the GM(me), are new to RPGs, that might show. Tought I should give you a rundown.
Templers murders for doing their job: 1 (this one they made up themselves as the story of how they meet)
Wounded elves stolen from: 1
Wounded elves threatened with sexual violence: 1
Priestesses enraged:1
Blacksmiths murdered: 1
Village threatened with arson, murder and theft: 1
Unoccupied nomad camp looted: 1
Unnecessary nights spent in forest when on urgent death-and-life quest: 2
Dwarf warriors castrated by a dead bears fangs: 1 (if you do what he did that is the only solution)
Bear heads forced upon the head of a donkey: 1
Donkeys driven semi-insane:1
Dwarf warrior kicked into a coma by a donkey: 1 (thank the maker for Heal)
Donkeys dropped into a ravine: 1 (they made the poor thing go over the fallen tree)
Doses of elf-cocaine taken: 3 (last time I indulge their wishes...)
Human warriors dead by elf-cocaine overdose: 1 (he rolled 3 ones, what was I supposed to do?)
Human mages barely surviving a elf-cocaine overdose: 1
Human mages contracting a severe addiction to elf-cocaine: 1
Village wardens beaten, bound and mugged: 1 (seeing how they killed his blacksmith, showed up too late and he just had his village burned down I thought it seemed a good idea to have him refuse them their payment)