Wonks
Meat: d12 Bones: d12 Twitch: d4 Mojo: D8
Skills: 3d4 Eyeball, 2d12 Fight, 3 d12 Smash, 4d4 Sneak
Stuff: Branches (DR 3), Bark (PR 2)
"If you am go in woods today, you am better go in disguise." —Famous Ork Fairy Tale Rhyme
Ork cautionary lore, such as it is, is full of tales of idiot Gunks who wandered off into the woods and never returned. How come they never came back? Sometimes woods no am woods! Sometimes they am Wonks!
Wonks are an ancient race that look remarkably like tall, wildly gnarled trees. They are extremely patient and extremely wily—which, as you might guess, makes them polar opposites to any Ork worth his stones. Wonks congregate in large bunches in the oldest parts of a forest. Stoic creatures that they are, they often go for months on end without moving at all, sustained by groundwater and the occasional unwary insect. In fact, almost nothing can get them riled up enough to get moving. Except, of course, a party of Orks.
If Wonks have a mission, it's protecting their turf. Anybody who makes wholesale mayhem in their part of the woods is in for serious trouble. And mostly that "anybody" is Orks. Squishy Men rarely get on the bad side of these creatures; the little buggers scare easy and are mostly domesticated, so they don't go waddling around the deep, deep woods that often. Sour Men are thorough and ruthless when they clear out a forest. Only Orks really have the knack for doing a half-assed job with wood-cutting—taking too long, chopping indiscriminately, and being too bullheaded to steer clear of patches that are known to be Wonk hangouts.
So, if any Orks cross the Wonks' path, there will be trouble—no matter what the Orks are doing. The Wonks will try to separate the party from each other, surrounding the Orks before they realize the trees they've wandered into aren't trees at all. Then the whomping commences. The Wonks will generally grab the hapless Ork and toss him in the air from Wonk to Wonk, disorienting him and knocking any weapons to the ground, all the while singing one of their haunting Wonk anthems.
The rest is downright ugly. If unable to save himself, the Ork will be ripped to pieces, with two or more Wonks taking hold of his limbs. They usually do it a limb at a time, so other players can theoretically save their buddy in the middle of the process—a real treat for everyone involved!
The Wonk rending attack is resolved as follows: If two Wonks both hit with attacks on the same round, they can combine damage rolls before comparing it to their opponent's Bones roll. This makes horrific damage far more likely.
The Wonks' homeland lies on the side of the world; they were exiled for reasons unclear to Orkdom. For now, they appear content enough to hang around in forests and pick off monsters. If they ever decide to head home en masse, however...